(no subject)

I am annoyed and I can't really pin down the reason. I don't know, maybe it's because I feel drained and can't seem to find the energy to write a single word. Maybe because I can't think of a single word to write. Maybe, maybe...

This morning I had that choking feeling again. The one when I can't seem to find it in me to allow myself the liberty of a good loud sobbing. I am always so self-constrained it is painful. And it never ceases to amaze me how I can't seem to cry without music. As if I need the sounds to trigger the emotions, to channel them somehow.
There wasn't even a particualr reason for crying. I just did.

Is it possible to know someone for 7 years and discover that you actually didn't know anything about them? Is it possible when this someone is the closest person you've ever had in your life, in a way even closer than your family?
What is truth and what is lies? And where do feelings lie in all this?
I wish I could answer. Maybe I'm not the right person to ask this of. Hell, my longest relationship did not last 2 years and half that time it was long distance. I just wish I did have the answer. I wish I could help...